1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That' s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').
8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying **** you!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
I get most perturbed when being told I'm nagging and am sure it's just said to make you shut up. Of course, it doesn't work. Well.....I might not speak to him for a few hours/days after so I suppose it does. Sprat
I count 19 words actually, unless that is you don't class "loud sigh" as a word, more a form of psychological warfare, in which case it's 17 words. Typical. Whenever did a woman allow accuracy to get in the way of a good bit of sexual oppression. Pilch
Call me 'old fashioned', I for one do not agree with equality of the sexes. Many of us, quote girlies unquote would not want to lower our standards THAT far.
Now, now, before you all throw rocks at my head.... Shouldn't we celebrate our differences not bemoan them. Men are single minded for, erm, one single reason. Women have 2 bridges between the right and left sides of the brain, men have only one. When men ask why can't you leave emotion out of this the answer should be 'we are physiologically unable to'. Shut down one bridge the emotions just keep on travelling. Men shut down their bridge and hey presto, emotion free decisons.
Ok, us Abruzzolutelys are all in the forest, we are all hungry and stalking Bambi. Going for the kill will be the guys ( hunter, gatherer instinct) not the girls who are looking into those big brown eyes and wondering how Bambi's Mum is going to feel when she hears the news. Or, does this fine stag we see before us have a family, that will have to fend for themselves. Forget it girls the chaps have downed Bambi with one shot and are dragging 'im home to feed the lot of us.
I applaud our differences, can't live with 'em, can't....well, live with 'em!!!
Kill the monster while it's little. I am an unreliable witness to my own life. Royalties do not an 'artist' make.
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That' s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').
8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying **** you!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
More women's words of..wisdom
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I’m sorry" = You’ll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It’s your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure… go ahead" = I don’t want you to
"I’m not upset" = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"You’re certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I’m going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you’re really not going to like
"I’ll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you’re dead]
"Do what you want." = You’ll pay for this later
" Having a place to go is HOME, having someone to love is FAMILY, having both is a BLESSING". Namaste.
I just LURVE these posts...possibly the only thing I dislike at Abruzzolutely.
I think I know what Gravey is on about here. There is a particular group of people on the forum that either get sent "humourous" stuff from their pals, or go trawling for it, & are so amused by it they want to share it with us all. OK. Fine. That's cool. Whatever. Actually Marlene your stuff is OK cos there are some marginally intellectual concepts presented that do sometimes provoke debate & genuine original humour from fellow forum members. Thats what a Forum is for...... debate. No. I object to, & maybe so does Gravey, the forum being carpet bombed with "jokes". If I want that shiite I know where to find it for myself. In reaction to the afformentioned I started a thread called "Found on the Web". At the moment it only has part one of "The Prelude" on it. The most incredible piece of drivel you ever read. I had to study that at school. It might explain some of my problems. Anyway theres lots more of it & it will be inflicted in even larger & more regular doses if certain people persist in certain antisocial behavior. Pilch
Part of what Pilch is saying is where I am coming from, but I do dislike the man-baiting "jokes" that we do have surges of from time to time. If I sat here and trotted out Jim Davidson and Les Dawson "My mother-in-law is so fat ..." jokes, I know it would get a lot or response and I'd quite rightly get slagged off.
I'm not having a go at Marlene per se, those are quite funny the first time. I like to think I have a good sense of humour, I love black humour and am capable of causing outrage myself.
As Design Witch said, we are all different and I was just putting my opinion out there. Maybe the football last night wasn't exciting enough, because then I wouldn't have been long enough to post!
I think I know what Gravey is on about here. There is a particular group of people on the forum that either get sent "humourous" stuff from their pals, or go trawling for it, & are so amused by it they want to share it with us all. OK. Fine. That's cool. Whatever. Actually Marlene your stuff is OK cos there are some marginally intellectual concepts presented that do sometimes provoke debate & genuine original humour from fellow forum members. Thats what a Forum is for...... debate. No. I object to, & maybe so does Gravey, the forum being carpet bombed with "jokes". If I want that shiite I know where to find it for myself. In reaction to the afformentioned I started a thread called "Found on the Web". At the moment it only has part one of "The Prelude" on it. The most incredible piece of drivel you ever read. I had to study that at school. It might explain some of my problems. Anyway theres lots more of it & it will be inflicted in even larger & more regular doses if certain people persist in certain antisocial behavior. Pilch
I understand exactly where both you and DRG are coming from and perhaps the forum is not the place to broadcast ‘joke material’ and it is a bit off putting when all the ‘new posts’ are just a long string of copied jokes.
On the other hand I believe in free speech and as long as a post is not nasty, inflammatory or obscene, what should we do about it?
DRG I think this present thread is not actually ‘man baiting’, but pointing to the discrepancy between what women say and what women mean, I’ll go so far as to bet it was written by a man in the first place!
Pilch, I don’t really see the point of reacting to what you don’t like by posting what you describe as an incredible piece of drivel. How does that improve things?
Finally Pilch, if you intend to inflict more of the same on the rest of us here, may I request that you type it in, rather than cut and paste?
In fact if we all had to spend the time typing our own posts and could not cut and paste the problem might be solved?
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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