http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl? http://www.eblah.com en http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244489953/ http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244489953/#num1
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ...
  
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.  
  
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts....so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '

'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun.  Blonde Men do exist]]> Mon, 8 Jun 2009 20:39:13 Torre http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244283213/ http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244283213/#num1




In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... And created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.





THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6. The French eat foie-Gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
]]> Sat, 6 Jun 2009 11:13:33 Geordie girl http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244204461/ http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244204461/#num1 One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to
ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if
she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child
support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would
know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply
mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then
arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh,
just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed
and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce."

]]> Fri, 5 Jun 2009 13:21:01 Prissy http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244197772/ http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244197772/#num1
http://isgordonbrownstillprimeminister.com/]]> Fri, 5 Jun 2009 11:29:32 Alberto Bertorelli http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244034639/ http://www.abruzzolutely.com/forum/Blah.pl?m-1244034639/#num1
A  young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the  other
monks  in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.  
            
He  notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from  copies,
not  from the original manuscript.

So,  the new monk goes to the head abbot to question  this,
pointing  out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy,
it would never be picked up!

In  fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent  copies.   The  head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for  centuries,  but  you make a good point, my son.'  

He  goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery  where  the original manuscripts are held as archives in a lockedvault  that hasn't  been opened for hundreds of years..  

Hours  go by and nobody sees the old abbot..  

So,  the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.   He  sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,  

'We missed theR!   We  missed the R!   We  missed the R!'   His  forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.  

The  young monk asks the old abbot, 'What ' s wrong, father?'    

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies,

'The  word was...   CELEBRATE!!!'      ]]> Wed, 3 Jun 2009 14:10:39 Prissy